If there was a cure, would I...?

The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon is another one on my favourite books list. I have written
this review for one of other websites I joined. The book is placed in a futuristic world. It left me
with very strange question. If there was a cure, would I put my daughter through it? Would
she stay the same and if not would this be a change for better?

For those who are here for the first time. Please remember I am pondering over the mild case of high functioning autistic. In the case of severe autism I would not hesitate.

The Speed of Dark is narrated mainly by its autistic hero, Lou Arrendale. Written with the honesty and passion the book is another example of Moon's gift for characteristics.

Lou is 35 and his life is perfectly organized. Thanks to his gift for pattern analysis he works for a pharmaceutical company together with his "normal" and autistic co-workers, he practices fencing, makes friends. He follows the rule hammered into his head for years: "Act normal, and you will be normal enough."

His peace, however, is shattered after his "normal" friend's violent outburst and an unexpected announcement of his new boss. The management gave all autistic staff an ultimatum: undergo the new experimental treatment to cure autism or lose the job. The treatment will alter the subject's brain, wipe out everything what made them - personality, memory, knowledge - tabula nasa.
That is when Lou's exploration of free will, identity, health and illness, good and evil begins. He looks for answers. Who will he become? Will there be a slight memory of Lou Arrendale left when he wakes up? Is it really better to be "normal"? What is the speed of dark? If he chooses to undergo the treatment he will have to catch the darkness. Lou throws himself into studies of neurology in order to find the pattern which would help him understand his dilemma. Like many little boys, he wanted to become an astronaught and because Lou was autistic this dream could not come true. If he becomes "normal" will he be able to follow that path and make his dream come true?
His philosophical quest for self is captivating in his obsession with the speed of dark. Lou finally makes his decision - "When I get there, the speed of light and the speed of dark will be the same".

Elizabeth Moon has presented us with a very believable character and psyche of an autistic. You will not find many so insightful novels written by a "normal". Her book is a gift to all of us; a chance to understand the unknown; appreciate the different, and question. "Not knowing arrives before knowing" says Lou; such a simple truth but how much courage does it take to make this step and find out...

I have put down this book with many questions still gnawing at me and I hope those who will read it now, will see why. Most compelling and eye opening piece of great literature.

Something to read

There are so many questions to ask when you
first hear the diagnosis of autism. All I new 5
years ago was "Rainman" and my daughter did
not fit into that character at all. As the word
was spoken during the biggest hype blaming
MMR all the doctors where happy to send me
home and deal with it in fear of another hate
campaign against them. I had to beg for tips
and resources and find my answers myself.

Along my search, I found a book which taught
me more than any psychological article ever
could.

"Nobody Nowhere" by Donna Williams is the
ultimate guide to autism. Dubbed by publishers
The Extraordinary Autobiography of an Autistic,
leaves not much more for me to add.

Donna described her first 26 years of life in this
volume. Born in 1960s Australia, she was first
diagnosed psychotic rather than autistic. She
suffered from abuse and negligence. She was the
"crazy girl". She was erratic, ecstatic and withdrawn.

You can observe how she developed many ways
to cope with the outside world. She created two
personalities, to deal with different situations.
She became a perfect mimic and parodist in order
to communicate with others.

Donna left home in her teens as her family could
not manage her. This was a start of a long journey
to her self recognition. Through even more good
and unfortunate events she found herself in England
where she finally broke down. She found here
professional help. At the age of 26 Donna was
diagnosed with autism and numerous digestive
disorders. It took her ten long years of therapy to
start functioning rationally and comprehensively.

"Nobody Nowhere" was written during the first year
as a means to put her life in order. The manuscript
was left behind in Britain and "accidentally" published
(Donna's own words). Within months the book reached
status of a bestseller worldwide.

Since then Donna wrote 9 more books, a few screen
plays, films, recorded CDs with her own music and
songs, she paints and sculpts. She became a teacher,
and a lecturer.

For me Donna is an icon and hope. An example
that against all the odds, autism doesn't have to
stop people from leading a fulfilling, rich life.

Visit Donna's home page to learn more about this remarkable woman.
http://www.donnawilliams.net/