It's a jungle out there...

I haven't been around as much as would like to.
I have read my blogs I follow, but didn't have
enough time to comment.

Little Dragon just started to go to a nursery for
two and a half hours a day. In the afternoon, so
my day is broken up into short intervals. He is
loving it and first day was without a drama. Just
a simple "Bye mum!". Completely different from
his sister, who sent me on a right guilt trip with
a proper scream, holding to my leg till I ran in
shame.

And now again, although without the dramas, I
feel guilty. I feel guilty for having to pretend it's
all going to be fine soon. But I don't know if it will
be fine.

Cirwen has been bullied at school and after school
on the way to the bus stop. One day, during a lunch
break, a group of kids through plastic bottles and
stones at her. Nothing actually hit her, but she was
upset and scared. She is constantly pushed to the end
of the queue at lunch, so she is late for lessons.
Another day she called me in tears, as one boy through
a stone after her with insults, and threatened to beat
her up. Yesterday she got into a fight with another girl.

These incidents have been reported to the headmistress
and some steps have been taken. Cirwen will attend
a lunch club, where they have a separate room to eat
and hang during breaks. She has an assigned "buddy",
an older girl who will help her resolve such situations.

It's all good, but is it a right course of action? The school
separated the victims of bulling. Yet I haven't heard what
they going to do with the bullies. Shouldn't those hooligans
be separated from the healthy minded kids?!

This way, the school created a group of children, who now
will be marked as victims. A easy target. They might have
as well stick a sign on their heads saying "hit me!".

Some of the bullying goes after the children leave the premises.
Obviously, there is nothing teachers can do about it. My hands
however, are tied too. If i come and pick her up everyday, she'll
gain another label of a "baby", "sissy" or whatever they call it now.
I have to keep sending her to school and just hope she will be far
away from those she knows are nasty.

She puts her brave little face on and she goes to school. Because
she likes it, she likes the teachers and she likes her new friends
she made. Yet, I can see, there is a little bit of fear, of what bad
might happen as well. Although, both my husband and myself
told her to stand up and don't wait for the first punch any more.
No one likes to be hit. Even bullies.

We'll see. The lunch club and the "buddy" have just been
introduced on Monday. We'll see how it will affect her life.

We'll see. Yet, I still feel guilty. For choosing this school,
(although others wouldn't be any better), for my determination,
to teach Cirwen live independently, for saying it's going to be
better, for telling her now to fight for herself even with fists.

For not telling her earlier - it's a jungle out there...

Secondary school

It is a hard time for everyone to change from
primary school to secondary. For someone
with autism it creates more fears and frustration.
As Cirwen is scared of changes and new things
in general she is very worried about the move.
On the other hand she also is looking forward
to it as she has been allocated a place in our
second choice of school which is the Visual and
Performance Arts Academy. On contrary to
common belief, she is very creative with
fantastic imagination and very good singing
voice. Maths and science is her weakness.

Unfortunately all her close friends will go to
different schools, therefore there is the issue
whether she will be able to make new friends.

I have had a meeting with the new school
SEN-Co (Special Education Needs Coordinator)
a couple of days ago. She was rather surprised
that Cirwen hasn't got the SEN Statement and
was never seen by the educational psychologist.
We had a good chat, where I clearly voiced my
concerns, Cirwen's weaknesses and strenghts,
and both mine and hers fears.

In conclusion, Cirwen will be able to visit the
Academy before the induction day on her own
later this month, to see the classes and facilities.
Then, in July there will be an induction day for
all newcomers, so we shall go and maybe meet
other children who will start with her.

From September Cirwen will be put on the School
Action Plus scheme, where she will be assessed by
the teachers and have some support in the weak
spots. She will be closely monitored, where the
SEN-Co mentioned possibility of applying for the
statement if needed.

There is an option of her being put into a small class
together with other children with learning difficulties.
This worried me a bit as I fear that it would put
an unnecessary label to her name and will make it more
difficult to interact with the rest of the children.

In the end it all seems positive and we will give it a go.
We'll see how it will work. If not, the only other
option is home schooling.