The Star and The Dragon

I have previously explained the meaning of my
children's names. There is another translation
for Cirwen - Beautiful Star. Indeed she is pretty.

To make a decision to have another child after
Cirwen's diagnosis was very difficult. During
the early years she needed so much attention,
support and help, I wasn't sure if I could cope
with a newborn as well. Up till the age of 4 she
was also incredibly attached just to me. Cirwen
loved her Dad, but didn't know how to bond with
two people in the same time. Similarly she had
trouble playing with more than one child. There
were still tantrums, not a lot of language and
settling at school, which meant my close contact
with teachers, trying to push for Special Needs
Statement.

In the end, after overcoming the fear of autism
itself, fear of having another child who might
have be more severely autistic - we did it.
Cirwen was eight years old when Draco joined
our small family. She was well settled then and
her awareness of others, bond with her Dad were
well established. She understood why the tiny
baby needed more attention and we also made
sure she didn't felt left out. She held her brother
the first time she saw him, she helped feeding
him once I moved to the bottle formula.

Draco is absolutely free of autism. Typical, lively
and mischievous boy. Since he loves his cuddles
and kisses he gets twice as much. For all lost
Cirwen's kisses. The only problem is, that now
I think he is incredibly easy to look after as he
develops on a typical level. He is two and a half
now, runs and climbs everywhere, feeds himself,
can count to twelve and he has already started
to build sentences. He also knows his manners.
With all that, when I compare him and Cirwen at
the same age we both, with my husband, think he
is a genius! In truth he is just a typical little boy.

Cirwen adores him and reckons he is the cutest boy
in the world. She is the only person who can make
him "belly laugh" just by pulling a face. In return
Draco is looking up to her and waits for her to come
back from school.

Draco is our little warrior - anything in his hand can
change into a sword and we hear lots of "high ya!"
during the day, next is his bucket full of tools and
then we have Handy Manny banging away with the
hammer. Although Cirwen was always a very "girly"
girl, she joins him in his adventures. She is very
careful, very protective and I can easily leave her
in a room with her brother without supervision.

I am sure now, that she has taught him to count, and
heard her asking Draco to say various words. She is
incredibly proud of all his little achievements.

They say, a big age gap between siblings may cause problems
in bonding. Not in this case. Little Dragon is looking up
to his Beautiful Star, who shines with love and care at
him. I hope it will stay like this, and one day the Little
Dragon will grow up to become the Star's warrior guardian.

The Black Baloon - Review

I have found this film last night on my magic box "on demand" list
and couldn't help but write about it.

"The Black Balloon" was released in 2008, directed by Australian
Elissa Down.

Starring:
Rhys Wakefield
Luke Ford
Toni Collette
Erik Thomson
Gemma Ward and others

"The Black Balloon" is a drama, based in 1980s Australia. The
family is moving to a new place as the father is in the army. Pregnant
mother, two teenage sons. Thomas is your usual average teenager
facing getting used to another new school, Charlie is severely
autistic and with ADD.

The film touches so many aspects of living and caring for the
autistic member of the family I will have to struggle to make this
post shorter than a book.

Charlie's age is not exactly specified in the film, he could be
between 17 and 20 years old. He is non verbal, communicating
through sign language and "da!" is the answer to almost everything.
His brother Thomas is 16.

You can see how the whole family life is arranged around Charlie's
needs. He is a "runner" therefore the front door is always locked,
some cupboards have padlocks, there is a star chart to reward
Charlie for good behaviour, there are also labels on objects in
his room. They all try to make his life as happy and comfortable
as possible but it is not easy. We observe the viciousness of
neighbourhood kids - the teasing of a "spastic". The arrogance of
the neighbour. Charlie has a morning ritual, when he sits on the
garden path humming and rhythmically banging the wooden spoon.
The neighbour cruelly shouts for him to shut up and squirts him
with a hose when he doesn't respond. Later she calls social services
to complain about the noise and fights.

The most important subject of this film, however, is Thomas's
relationship with Charlie. He would like to have the normal
life of a teenager. But, he is embarrassed by his brother. When
a girl from school comes to visit for the first time he locks Charlie
in his room. That turns into a disaster as Charlie decides to do
a poo and smears it all over his carpet and body.,

The frustration reaches it's top when Charlie ruins Thomas's
birthday party. He beats his brother up, smashes his game
console and sobs late at night because it's not fair. No, it's
not fair says his mother, the family is all Charlie will ever have.
He will not ever be able to do what Thomas can and is doing
now. He will live with them all his life, closed in his own world.
Thomas feels not only sorry for himself, but there is also the guilt.
Guilt for hoping one day he will wake up and Charlie will be
normal, guilty for being so angry and ashamed.

And then there is Charlie's big day. Charlie is going to be part
of a school performance where he will be doing a monkey
dance. On the day however, his partner has a breakdown
on the stage and refuses to dance. Charlie is not happy at
all and suddenly we see Thomas joining him to perform,
dancing in the monkey suit...

You'll be sad, moved and you'll lough. The only film
I've seen finishing with the words "You've just p***ed
on my leg."

Luke Ford in my opinion should receive an Oscar for
his performace as Charlie.