Thursday, 18 February 2010

Valentines Day and tears...

I know what you are thinking. The same as me if
I read this title: " no one loves me... boo hoo!"
No. Actually, exactly opposite...

You see, this year, my husband, decided to order
flowers and a Valentine card from "a secret admirer"
for Cirwen. He thought she will like it and won't feel
a freak if she was to be the only one from her friends
without a card. I thought it was a really sweet idea.

The flowers came when we were all out, and were
picked up by a friend, who temporarily stays with us.
Cirwen found them and the card with simple "be my
Valentine" message in the kitchen.... and burst in

I, of course, sat her down and asked what was the matter.
She didn't want to be any one's Valentine, she doesn't want
to have a boyfriend and it felt "too grown up".
Cirwen was so upset by this, that in the end Daddy had
to confess to the whole idea. We explained that, it was
only to make her smile and to tell her that Daddy loves his

So here we are. A seemingly innocent gesture turned into
a disaster. Cirwen often expresses her fear of growing up.
With this comes also a fear of the fact, that peers will
expect her to have a relationship. An idea of a boyfriend,
to her, means a lot of uncomfortable things: physical contact,
closeness, a threat to her personal space... Well, she is only
11 and I'm happy she is not looking for boyfriends, however
I really did not expect such a strong reaction...

Thankfully, she accepted the flowers, but the card went into the bin.


  1. The best laid plans never seem to work out the way we had hoped. It was a very sweet idea on her dad's part.

    I remember hearing somewhat similar statements from my step daughter at that age. I wonder just how common these same feelings are in Cirwen's age group in general, the thought of growing up can be frightening. All those uncomfortable things might not seem so uncomfortable in five years.

  2. Her poor Dad! Still, I hope she recovers soon. It can all be scary at any age and I still remember being petrified of any boy once I hit 12. Lasted for ages.

  3. Indeed, poor dad was upset to upset his daughter... :-) It's all fine now. Madame, actually I do remember punching a boy in the nose for trying to kiss me when I was 12... yet, an idea of a platonic admirer tickled my fancy ...