This is a song Cirwen found on YouTube.
Her first thoughts were it is a song about a child
with Autism, because so often she feels exactly
like Toeto. She knows how difficult it is to let
herself out of the hiding.
What I think? I have seen the withdrawal, I have
felt this inner struggle to express the feelings hidden
somewhere very deep, inside a girl I love so dearly.
She would like everyone to know how she feels.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Saturday, 17 July 2010
What else ?....
Here we go. More to worry about....
Last month must have been very difficult for Cirwen.
She sat four exams over two weeks and she took them
very seriously. She worked at home on maths, because
she really wanted to do well. Then science, IT, English ...
The results were discussed on the parents evening which
she was also required to attend. I have heard nothing but
praise about her work, dedication and her wonderful personality.
I was very, very proud again how much she progressed not
only academically but also emotionally.
Then I spoke to her maths teacher. He was fairly happy with
her work and result of the exam. But.
But he pointed something out I didn't notice or considered.
By the way Cirwen writes numbers backwards, and that she
finds it hard or impossible to make number bonds, he suspects
my girl might have the "number dyslexia". (Forgive my un-
professional term - this is yet to be read and researched).
It did make sense. My next step was to go straight to the SEN-Co,
yet I am still waiting for her call back. Hopefully we will be able to
include the test in September re-assessment of Cirwen's needs.
Two days later, my little star came back home, had a milkshake,
and went to bed. She slept for 13 solid hours! She tried to go
to school, yet came back from the bus stop complaining about
breathing problems and a pain around her heart... Panic attack?
I don't know...
Of course I kept her home. I think the stress, the whole
year in new school, the pressure of being good, fitting in and coping
with sensory stimulae and bullies had taken its toll and her little
body put a stop sign out.
Thankfully summer holidays are starting soon. Just Monday to survive,
Tuesday is the day of their reward trip to Thorpe Park and that's it!
Hold on there Little Star. I'll do anything to keep you well...
Last month must have been very difficult for Cirwen.
She sat four exams over two weeks and she took them
very seriously. She worked at home on maths, because
she really wanted to do well. Then science, IT, English ...
The results were discussed on the parents evening which
she was also required to attend. I have heard nothing but
praise about her work, dedication and her wonderful personality.
I was very, very proud again how much she progressed not
only academically but also emotionally.
Then I spoke to her maths teacher. He was fairly happy with
her work and result of the exam. But.
But he pointed something out I didn't notice or considered.
By the way Cirwen writes numbers backwards, and that she
finds it hard or impossible to make number bonds, he suspects
my girl might have the "number dyslexia". (Forgive my un-
professional term - this is yet to be read and researched).
It did make sense. My next step was to go straight to the SEN-Co,
yet I am still waiting for her call back. Hopefully we will be able to
include the test in September re-assessment of Cirwen's needs.
Two days later, my little star came back home, had a milkshake,
and went to bed. She slept for 13 solid hours! She tried to go
to school, yet came back from the bus stop complaining about
breathing problems and a pain around her heart... Panic attack?
I don't know...
Of course I kept her home. I think the stress, the whole
year in new school, the pressure of being good, fitting in and coping
with sensory stimulae and bullies had taken its toll and her little
body put a stop sign out.
Thankfully summer holidays are starting soon. Just Monday to survive,
Tuesday is the day of their reward trip to Thorpe Park and that's it!
Hold on there Little Star. I'll do anything to keep you well...
Friday, 25 June 2010
Back to work?
Is it a good time to go back to work, or not? This is a question...
I have stayed at home for the last year. I thought it was important
that I was "on call" and available at all times during Cirwen's first
year in secondary school. This also coincided with Little Dragon's
first year in the nursery.
As you know from my previous posts, it proved to be the right
decision, as there were so many problems. Most of the bullying
issues have been sorted. Cirwen grew up emotionally and
socially during this time and developed a lot of new coping skills.
She achieved so much, she has been recognised, she excelled in
her subjects of interest.
But. I know, there always be a but, because I am so protective...
It doesn't mean all the problems are solved and there will be
new issues next year.
On the other hand, I can't just stay home for ever and when the phone
calls pick it up thinking "is she crying or is she happy?". I need
a bit of my own separate life. Away.
I am searching half heartedly, at the moment, as I still fight with
my own thoughts. Am I ready to let her be even more independent?
Is she ready for that? Will my new employer understand the challenges
we are facing every day just to lead a normal life, and that sometimes
a usually a small problem turns into tragedy? For many businesses
hiring a mother means days off to deal with children's sickness, school
plays etc. Hiring a mother of an Autistic child may seem a higher
risk.
Well, I'll see how it goes. I am back in the job market. With all my
fears, I cannot forget that I am not alone and if I can't deal with
something there's always their Dad. My darling husband, who
has been looking after Cirwen all those primary school years while
I was working full time. I realise now, I have taken over with
a thoughtless force of I'm here now, I will do it.... I'm sorry dear G.
I have stayed at home for the last year. I thought it was important
that I was "on call" and available at all times during Cirwen's first
year in secondary school. This also coincided with Little Dragon's
first year in the nursery.
As you know from my previous posts, it proved to be the right
decision, as there were so many problems. Most of the bullying
issues have been sorted. Cirwen grew up emotionally and
socially during this time and developed a lot of new coping skills.
She achieved so much, she has been recognised, she excelled in
her subjects of interest.
But. I know, there always be a but, because I am so protective...
It doesn't mean all the problems are solved and there will be
new issues next year.
On the other hand, I can't just stay home for ever and when the phone
calls pick it up thinking "is she crying or is she happy?". I need
a bit of my own separate life. Away.
I am searching half heartedly, at the moment, as I still fight with
my own thoughts. Am I ready to let her be even more independent?
Is she ready for that? Will my new employer understand the challenges
we are facing every day just to lead a normal life, and that sometimes
a usually a small problem turns into tragedy? For many businesses
hiring a mother means days off to deal with children's sickness, school
plays etc. Hiring a mother of an Autistic child may seem a higher
risk.
Well, I'll see how it goes. I am back in the job market. With all my
fears, I cannot forget that I am not alone and if I can't deal with
something there's always their Dad. My darling husband, who
has been looking after Cirwen all those primary school years while
I was working full time. I realise now, I have taken over with
a thoughtless force of I'm here now, I will do it.... I'm sorry dear G.
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
Ian Dury - Spasticus Autisticus -
I have just watched a DVD. "Sex And Drugs And Rock'nRoll".
It is a story of Ian Dury - the founder of Blockheads, singer,
songwriter, musician. His lyrics were witty, provocative and
gave inspiration to many.
As a child, Dury suffered from polio, spend time in the home for
children with disabilities .Watching the flashbacks, the homes approach
to these kids seemed to me, emotionless, cold and degrading. It is
important to know, that the word"spastic" was haled derogative only in
the early 1980s.
In 1981, Ian Dury was asked to write a song for charity. It was also
supposed to boost his carreer. And so he did write a song.
"Spasticus Autisticus". Provocation sang to "those in the normal
world". Strangely enough, it didn't last on air for a long time, as some
members of public were offended by it. Strangely enough those offended,
were NOT the disabled people. As Dury said himself, people with
disabilities don't want sympathy, they want respect.
I personally like this song very much. It is a statement shouted right
into the face of false charities, narrow minded system and society.
It is what I want for my daughter: respect, inclusion and appreciation.
Here it is. If you think you might be offended, don't listen:
It is a story of Ian Dury - the founder of Blockheads, singer,
songwriter, musician. His lyrics were witty, provocative and
gave inspiration to many.
As a child, Dury suffered from polio, spend time in the home for
children with disabilities .Watching the flashbacks, the homes approach
to these kids seemed to me, emotionless, cold and degrading. It is
important to know, that the word"spastic" was haled derogative only in
the early 1980s.
In 1981, Ian Dury was asked to write a song for charity. It was also
supposed to boost his carreer. And so he did write a song.
"Spasticus Autisticus". Provocation sang to "those in the normal
world". Strangely enough, it didn't last on air for a long time, as some
members of public were offended by it. Strangely enough those offended,
were NOT the disabled people. As Dury said himself, people with
disabilities don't want sympathy, they want respect.
I personally like this song very much. It is a statement shouted right
into the face of false charities, narrow minded system and society.
It is what I want for my daughter: respect, inclusion and appreciation.
Here it is. If you think you might be offended, don't listen:
Sunday, 6 June 2010
More praise for Cirwen!
My daughter's success made it to the local newspaper!
It's not the first page and it's not a big article, but all the
same.
Cirwen's story has been recognised and published in
Evening Post.
Although a few weeks after the award ceremony, I
still had tears welling in my eyes from joy and pride.
Here it is:
"Talented Cirwen shines on stage"
It's not the first page and it's not a big article, but all the
same.
Cirwen's story has been recognised and published in
Evening Post.
Although a few weeks after the award ceremony, I
still had tears welling in my eyes from joy and pride.
Here it is:
"Talented Cirwen shines on stage"
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Result!
I am proud to announce that Cirwen
won the Outstanding Cultural Achievement Award!
She came back last night with a trophy and smiles.
I'm all over the moon!
She had photos taken at the ceremony and today
at school, so as she said it's her first step to fame.
I can't really say anything more.
Well done Cirwen!
I'm the proudest mum in the world!
won the Outstanding Cultural Achievement Award!
She came back last night with a trophy and smiles.
I'm all over the moon!
She had photos taken at the ceremony and today
at school, so as she said it's her first step to fame.
I can't really say anything more.
Well done Cirwen!
I'm the proudest mum in the world!
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Award
My fingers are crossed for Cirwen today.
She and 6 other pupils were nominated for
the National Oasis Awards for outstanding
achievement in sport or cultural fields.
Cirwen's Learning Mentor has nominated her
for this award and she won the Bristol round.
The nomination is for her performance in the
School Winter Showcase, overcoming barriers
she faced everyday on stage and at school. Barriers
which autism places in front of all touched with it.
Today Cirwen is going to Birmingham, accompanied
by other nominated students, Principal and 2 teachers.
Today, we will find out if Cirwen receives the award.
It's a big day for her, and I think I was more excited
this morning than her!
So, my fingers are crossed. Thankfully, Little Dragon
is keeping me busy, so the day won't drag so long.
Keep an eye on this page tonight. The update is coming!
She and 6 other pupils were nominated for
the National Oasis Awards for outstanding
achievement in sport or cultural fields.
Cirwen's Learning Mentor has nominated her
for this award and she won the Bristol round.
The nomination is for her performance in the
School Winter Showcase, overcoming barriers
she faced everyday on stage and at school. Barriers
which autism places in front of all touched with it.
Today Cirwen is going to Birmingham, accompanied
by other nominated students, Principal and 2 teachers.
Today, we will find out if Cirwen receives the award.
It's a big day for her, and I think I was more excited
this morning than her!
So, my fingers are crossed. Thankfully, Little Dragon
is keeping me busy, so the day won't drag so long.
Keep an eye on this page tonight. The update is coming!
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