Do I cope...? How?

This is a question a lot of parents of children with Autism ask.
A lot of parents with children neurologically typical ask me.
How do you deal with it?

I am sure having a high functioning autistic child is different,
than a non verbal, severely affected one, but it doesn't
mean it's much easier.

As I wrote somewhere before, when the diagnosis was pronounced,
it was not a surprise. With that however, came an emotional storm.
Is it my fault? What it really means? What can I do? What the future
will be? Can I do it? I was scared but in the same time relieved I had
a definition to base my parenting on. I went into frenzy of searching
for books, groups, chat rooms, charities... and believe me, back in 2002
there weren't as many.

I learned from books and talking to parents on the National Autistic
Society meetings. These meetings made me realise I was not alone.
Books gave me knowledge and more professional insight into the
condition as well as the field to compare and understand my daughter's
behaviour.

I have and I am still learning while my girl is growing up. Different age,
different problems, different ways to cope for both of us.

All parents need patience, I think parents like me need more of it. People
with autism have no common sense. While you expect from a 12 year old
to intuitively know how to buy a bus ticket, what to do when the bus is late,
etc, you can't expect this from a 12 year old with autism.
Each time, you have to explain in simple, clear sentences what to do.

Believe me it's not so easy. There are moments when I loose it and boil
inside thinking " you are 12! You should know that! When I was your
age..." Well, I take a deep breath or two. Sometimes it takes a cigarette
(yes I know I shouldn't...it's not an advice for others to follow) and start
explaining. Again. I've learned I am allowed to get frustrated.
I am not perfect and I am allowed negative emotions. It's natural and
important to know this! Although I am doing my best not to show them
while talking to my girl as this scares her. I also do take pleasure in the fact
that having to interact, bring up an autistic child forces me to think "out
of the box". Many traditional parenting methods just don't work with
someone who suffers from hypersensitivities, communication impairment,
thinks literally and doesn't like physical closeness too much.

So, I wait for the moment of solitude. When I can rant, cry and scream.
Or blog. Or chat to my husband and just let it go. He gives me his very
laid back attitude and stays always positive. He's my rock.

While dealing with autism, I have to deal with "THE SYSTEM". That
is where my coping skills are needed the most. "THE SYSTEM" are:
the school, the department for work and pensions, the LEA, the medical
authorities and services.

High functioning Autism doesn't have to be crippling. It's the ignorance
and inadequate support system that cripple our children.

If you read my previous posts, you will understand what I am going
through right now. The issue of finding the paediatrics service is still
unresolved. I was told by someone from Children Services how "strange
it was that a 12 year old is not under constant care of a paediatrician"...
Ha!

During last month I was ( maybe still am) very near to a nervous
breakdown. I am at the point where all resources are exhausted and
the only thing I can do is to wait. The task I hate with a vengeance.
Waiting means to me helplessness, passivity, wondering why the
postman is so late and just not knowing.

So in this passive meantime, I have to keep myself occupied with
something else. Here go my books, but often I can't detach my thoughts
and loose myself in the fantasy world. So I rant here. Blog!
My husband is a bit bored of the topic, so I write on forums and twitter.
I sew. I sew costumes for my friends and myself for the larping. And
I do go to Live Action Role Play where I can physically beat people up
and fuse my frustration.( Playing a grumpy dwarf does help with this.)
What else, I try to take one day at a time, deal with everyday problems
as they come and NOT think of the future. NO LONG TERM PLANS.
That's my motto, as I don't know how things will develop, I don't want
to be disappointed.

Don't forget, I have to think of the well being of my 4 year old typical
son too. He also needs me as much as his sister.

Do I cope? I think I do... How? Mainly by knowing that if I crack, no
one will pick up the pieces but myself. I'll have my husband's helping
hand but if I fall into depression it will be up to me to crawl back up.
I feel too lazy to deal with that as well. So - I stay here. On the surface.

Back to square one

I am back to square one.

The clinic we attended in the past cannot see us,
due to the change of boundaries.

In the meantime the GP has referred us to another
NHS service, they also will not see young people from
our area of the city.

I am back on the trail, looking for appropriate clinic to
do the required tests... none of the representatives of
regecting us was able to tell me which clinic serves the
South of Bristol...

In the end, I have emailed Primary Care Trust for information.
No answer as yet, but I shall talk to my doctor tomorrow.
At least I know what the path of referral should be.

I was fuming last Friday. Today .... I just have to wait.
Wait, and watch Cirwen struggling....

Tweetathon

There is a very remarkable man on twitter today.
Yesterday morning, Gray Collins or @diaryofaledger started
his 60 hour tweetathon to raise the money for
the National Autistic Society in the Isle of White.

The target is £5000. Gray is now tweeting at least
every 10 minutes for over 30 hours and raised over
£2100!

He is doing it because his nephew and niece are on
the autistic spectrum and he can closely see the
struggle his family face every day.

Whoever you are, please visit his website.
If you cannot donate spread the word! Tweet,
retweet facebook it, lets help him reach the target
before midnight!

Here is his website: Just Giving

Autism Service Dogs Part 2 - It's not all so great. Ryan has some questions

This second video Ryan has made, carries
a lot of weighty questions to organisations providing
and training dogs to assist the vulnerable.

I thought we all should know about the flaws in the system
Ryan has noticed, and is not afraid to ask loudly about them.

While some are lucky, the others are left queueing or
simply deemed not eligible for a life companion.

For example, I found out that in UK the dogs are NOT
available for people between 11 and 16/18 years old...
Why? I am waiting for a reply.


My lovely guest's:

question to autism service dog organizations

EEEK! I have joined the twitter and Sunday Blog Hop

Thanks to Squirrel Queen from The Road to Here,
I have done something new and finally joined
twitter as well.

Simple Sunday Blog Hop




Go try!

Autism Service Dogs Part 1 -- Meet my guest

Today, I'd like you all to meet my guest: Ryan and
her beautiful white German Sheppard , Nimrodel.

Ryan is an Autistic young woman thanks to whom,
I have found out about the Autism Service Dogs.
Nim has made Ryan's independent life possible and
happy. Please listen and watch their story:

(she says it's a draft, but I wouldn't change it)

Autism service dog dedication - video by Ryan

Contacts for USA organisations - the best of all Wilderwood
and Highland Canine

Contact for United Kingdom organisations - supportdogs

All of them train the dogs both for children and adults.

After holiday silence....

I am ashamed to have not written for so long...
Summer holidays contributed to my laziness and a
slight disruption to the usual routine. But here I am.

Ready for the next fight of the year!

With the beginning of September and the new school
year, came new government's policies and... CUTS.

CUTS is the dreaded word in the world of carers and
disabled people. They mostly affect the poor and most
vulnerable. As always. Here as well.

I was informed, that after a year of waiting for the
re-assessment and testing for additional difficulties,
the school is no longer able to pay for it. Therefore, my
girl and several others are left as they were, and we, parents
are to get a referral from our GP.

In my case, I need Cirwen to be tested for dyscalculia and either
dyslexia or dyspraxia. This is due to the teachers' concerns
voiced during the last parents meeting in July.

Funny thing is our UK system. School SEN-Co says I need
to go to the GP.
So I did.
GP said go to Dyslexia Centre.
So I did.
The Centre says "yes, we will happily do the test.
It will last 3 hours and will cost you £440. "
I hyperventilate....

From then on I am on the quest to find out whether
there is another way to do this through normal NHS
channels or Local Educational Authority (LEA) rather
than private.

LEA tells me about a form a GP can fill for me which
will go to a Common Assessment Framework, who are
an independent from LEA or NHS and they might take
the matter into their hands. Might, nothing sure...

Back to the GP. He doesn't know anything about CAF
and asks me where to obtain the form.
I don't know...
He takes the phone numbers and a week later I receive
a letter that he spoke to all the same people and he's
none the wiser...
I despair.

I calm down and call the pediatrics clinic where Cirwen
was originally diagnosed and ask whether they have the
ability to do the tests, and what do we need for that.
Simple answer: "we'll do all the tests, the GP has to re-refer
your daughter as the records are not held for that long."
Relief!

Back to the GP. I had to provide him with the name, address
and telephone number to the clinic.
Phew! Now I need patience.

Although a huge weight has fallen off my heart, that all will be
sorted without selling off whatever I can to fund the tests,
I am appalled at the lack of communication and information
available to the professionals in UK. I would have imagined,
that the GP should have the details of the only pediatrics clinic
for the area he operates in, and what services, help that place
offers. The LEA and school should also have been provided with
the simplest alternative in case of the lack of funding from the
council or government.

But hey, that would be a perfect world wouldn't it?

Message from Cirwen

This is a song Cirwen found on YouTube.
Her first thoughts were it is a song about a child
with Autism, because so often she feels exactly
like Toeto. She knows how difficult it is to let
herself out of the hiding.

What I think? I have seen the withdrawal, I have
felt this inner struggle to express the feelings hidden
somewhere very deep, inside a girl I love so dearly.

She would like everyone to know how she feels.

What else ?....

Here we go. More to worry about....

Last month must have been very difficult for Cirwen.
She sat four exams over two weeks and she took them
very seriously. She worked at home on maths, because
she really wanted to do well. Then science, IT, English ...

The results were discussed on the parents evening which
she was also required to attend. I have heard nothing but
praise about her work, dedication and her wonderful personality.
I was very, very proud again how much she progressed not
only academically but also emotionally.

Then I spoke to her maths teacher. He was fairly happy with
her work and result of the exam. But.
But he pointed something out I didn't notice or considered.
By the way Cirwen writes numbers backwards, and that she
finds it hard or impossible to make number bonds, he suspects
my girl might have the "number dyslexia". (Forgive my un-
professional term - this is yet to be read and researched).

It did make sense. My next step was to go straight to the SEN-Co,
yet I am still waiting for her call back. Hopefully we will be able to
include the test in September re-assessment of Cirwen's needs.

Two days later, my little star came back home, had a milkshake,
and went to bed. She slept for 13 solid hours! She tried to go
to school, yet came back from the bus stop complaining about
breathing problems and a pain around her heart... Panic attack?
I don't know...

Of course I kept her home. I think the stress, the whole
year in new school, the pressure of being good, fitting in and coping
with sensory stimulae and bullies had taken its toll and her little
body put a stop sign out.

Thankfully summer holidays are starting soon. Just Monday to survive,
Tuesday is the day of their reward trip to Thorpe Park and that's it!

Hold on there Little Star. I'll do anything to keep you well...

Back to work?

Is it a good time to go back to work, or not? This is a question...
I have stayed at home for the last year. I thought it was important
that I was "on call" and available at all times during Cirwen's first
year in secondary school. This also coincided with Little Dragon's
first year in the nursery.

As you know from my previous posts, it proved to be the right
decision, as there were so many problems. Most of the bullying
issues have been sorted. Cirwen grew up emotionally and
socially during this time and developed a lot of new coping skills.
She achieved so much, she has been recognised, she excelled in
her subjects of interest.

But. I know, there always be a but, because I am so protective...
It doesn't mean all the problems are solved and there will be
new issues next year.

On the other hand, I can't just stay home for ever and when the phone
calls pick it up thinking "is she crying or is she happy?". I need
a bit of my own separate life. Away.

I am searching half heartedly, at the moment, as I still fight with
my own thoughts. Am I ready to let her be even more independent?
Is she ready for that? Will my new employer understand the challenges
we are facing every day just to lead a normal life, and that sometimes
a usually a small problem turns into tragedy? For many businesses
hiring a mother means days off to deal with children's sickness, school
plays etc. Hiring a mother of an Autistic child may seem a higher
risk.

Well, I'll see how it goes. I am back in the job market. With all my
fears, I cannot forget that I am not alone and if I can't deal with
something there's always their Dad. My darling husband, who
has been looking after Cirwen all those primary school years while
I was working full time. I realise now, I have taken over with
a thoughtless force of I'm here now, I will do it.... I'm sorry dear G.

Ian Dury - Spasticus Autisticus -

I have just watched a DVD. "Sex And Drugs And Rock'nRoll".
It is a story of Ian Dury - the founder of Blockheads, singer,
songwriter, musician. His lyrics were witty, provocative and
gave inspiration to many.

As a child, Dury suffered from polio, spend time in the home for
children with disabilities .Watching the flashbacks, the homes approach
to these kids seemed to me, emotionless, cold and degrading. It is
important to know, that the word"spastic" was haled derogative only in
the early 1980s.

In 1981, Ian Dury was asked to write a song for charity. It was also
supposed to boost his carreer. And so he did write a song.
"Spasticus Autisticus". Provocation sang to "those in the normal
world". Strangely enough, it didn't last on air for a long time, as some
members of public were offended by it. Strangely enough those offended,
were NOT the disabled people. As Dury said himself, people with
disabilities don't want sympathy, they want respect.

I personally like this song very much. It is a statement shouted right
into the face of false charities, narrow minded system and society.
It is what I want for my daughter: respect, inclusion and appreciation.

Here it is. If you think you might be offended, don't listen:

More praise for Cirwen!

My daughter's success made it to the local newspaper!
It's not the first page and it's not a big article, but all the
same.

Cirwen's story has been recognised and published in
Evening Post.

Although a few weeks after the award ceremony, I
still had tears welling in my eyes from joy and pride.

Here it is:

"Talented Cirwen shines on stage"

Result!

I am proud to announce that Cirwen
won the Outstanding Cultural Achievement Award!

She came back last night with a trophy and smiles.
I'm all over the moon!

She had photos taken at the ceremony and today
at school, so as she said it's her first step to fame.

I can't really say anything more.

Well done Cirwen!
I'm the proudest mum in the world!

Award

My fingers are crossed for Cirwen today.
She and 6 other pupils were nominated for
the National Oasis Awards for outstanding
achievement in sport or cultural fields.

Cirwen's Learning Mentor has nominated her
for this award and she won the Bristol round.
The nomination is for her performance in the
School Winter Showcase, overcoming barriers
she faced everyday on stage and at school. Barriers
which autism places in front of all touched with it.

Today Cirwen is going to Birmingham, accompanied
by other nominated students, Principal and 2 teachers.

Today, we will find out if Cirwen receives the award.

It's a big day for her, and I think I was more excited
this morning than her!

So, my fingers are crossed. Thankfully, Little Dragon
is keeping me busy, so the day won't drag so long.

Keep an eye on this page tonight. The update is coming!

Respite or escapism...?

We all love our children. There is no doubt about that. But.
Yes there is a "but". No matter how lovely they are, how
well behaved, how difficult or challenged, we all as parents,
need to have a break.

For us with children with autism it is a major problem. Our
children will not stay home with a random friend or agency
babysitter. My daughter, for example, although high functioning,
would not let me go to a corner shop without her. I could only
leave home when she was well and truly asleep. At the time
I worked in the evenings and this had to count as my respite,
social life and a chance to talk to other people than my child
or partner. You can't really call it a "break". Different issues
and stress of a workplace still leaves one tired and emotionally
drained. We all need a rest. Peace. Quiet. "My time".

Parents of children with severe autism are mostly 24 hr
carers where the employment is simply impossible therefore
the "pretend" respite of having a job is not an option.

There come organisations like Cygnet Springside.
A organisation providing holiday, respite homes in the country
especially for people with autism from the age of 5 to 17.
The place is children friendly, safe and low stimulus. The
environment provides possibility of socialising, inclusion and
learning. Sounds great, but it's not free.

National Autistic Society is able to provide parents with
government funded respite services. There are a few options here.

Befriending scheme, where a family is introduced to a trained "friend".
The scheme provides a possibility for autistic person to go out within
their home town for a few hours a couple of times a week. Trip to a cinema,
park, or shopping.

There is also an option for short breaks respite, where with the help from
Social services a child or young adult will visit another family regularly.
This is a bit like "holiday foster parents".

NAS also run their own homes within UK.

Having a rest from daily stress, even the routine we have to maintain
for our loved autistic kids is very important.
I, personally didn't use any of these services. Why? For the first few years
of Cirwen's life my job was my respite and occasional trips to her grandmother.
Over there still I was the primary carer, but the change of scenery did wonders.

Later, when Cirwen became more socially aware, vocal and made her first
friend, came sleepovers. We went through trials, mistakes and dramas.
We were always on call in case my girl pulled a tantrum about something
the friend's mum couldn't help. There were times when the "sleepover" lasted
two hours. However, after a good number of trials, the other mum found her
way to deal with my daughter. The girls became best friends, and now us,
mums are best friends as well. She was wonderful. Cirwen was obsessed
with pink, she has to have her bedding in a certain way on the bed to fall
asleep etc. One day Cirwen came back telling me that there were not enough
pink pillow covers, so the other mum made one especially for her... The girls
are in different schools now, yet they still see and text each other frequently.

We were also lucky to have a very good friend, who stayed with us for several
months. During that time he bonded with both of our kids and they named him
uncle. He became now our babysitter. Obviously since we can arrange for
Cirwen to see her friends during the day or a sleepover, we still have her
3 year old brother to be taken care of. Although Little Dragon is not autistic,
he's a handful and hasn't got sleepover friends yet. So, my latest respite, is
something a lot of people would call escapism.

I found LARP. Live Action Role Play. My husband used to play a lot before
we had Cirwen, gave it up for many reasons, majorly the system became too
expensive. Recently, a friend mentioned a system which is almost free to play,
(apart from your personal kit) and off we went.

I loved it! Got a choice of class and race to play, dressed up as an elven mage,
given a latex dagger and off I went into the woods. Believe me, being someone
else in a fantasy world and being able to whack people without repercussions does
the job for me. Yes, the next day my bones and muscles are sore, but my head is
clear and I am ready for action in the real world. Apart from that, I found a new
hobby, which I found quite relaxing. I bought a sewing machine and started to make
costumes. I even got a few compliments :-)

So. Twice a month, on Sunday my dear husband and I pack our bag, take a packed
lunch and go to spend a day in the world of fantasy. Call me crazy, nerd, escapist,
it does the work for me. I have a chance to meet friends, spend the day outdoors,
exercise, and what's the most important give my anger and frustration an outlet by
fighting the monsters physically.

Of course it won't work for everybody. But my message is, even a day away from
our usual surroundings, or without our beloved kids can have a healing power.
Whether it is an evening in a hot bath, book and a face mask, a cinema trip, or
a day of running around a forest with a rubber sword hitting each other -
we all need a break. To stay strong, sane and ready to face the challenge of caring
for our kids (special needs or not).

International Autism Awareness Day

Dear friends, friends to be and random visitors,

Today is the big day for us parents and carers and our autistic children
and adults. Day when we can talk to spread the word of ups and downs
and ask for help and understanding. It is another day to take a chance
and break the stereotypes.

There are events happening all over the world so keep your eyes opened.
UK residents can find the detailed information on National Autistic
Society website.

Remember my friends. Although your pennies will be most appreciated, it's
not essential. The aim of this day is to accept that autism exists. People touched
with autism are here and there is no cure. The least we can do is to make them
welcome in the society, accept and understand their difficulties, and appreciate
their gifts.

IGNORANCE HARMS

Wear blue today to show your support for people with Autism.
Thank you .

News flash: A six year old boy charged with felony

I have read this and cringed. I had to let the world know
about this ridiculous case.

Dallas. A six year old boy with autism has been placed
at school without needed aid and support. Having many
issues including behavioural, hypersensitivities and of
course communication, no wonder he found it frustrating
and could not conform to the "norm".

He was restrained. How?
A 200 lb man SAT ON HIM!!!

Result: the poor boy bit him. And now faces charges of felony...

This is a link to the Facebook group who are trying to petition
the authorities to drop the charges . Please join if you care:
HELP NOW for DALLAS Obanion

Valentines Day and tears...

I know what you are thinking. The same as me if
I read this title: " no one loves me... boo hoo!"
No. Actually, exactly opposite...

You see, this year, my husband, decided to order
flowers and a Valentine card from "a secret admirer"
for Cirwen. He thought she will like it and won't feel
a freak if she was to be the only one from her friends
without a card. I thought it was a really sweet idea.

The flowers came when we were all out, and were
picked up by a friend, who temporarily stays with us.
Cirwen found them and the card with simple "be my
Valentine" message in the kitchen.... and burst in
tears!

I, of course, sat her down and asked what was the matter.
She didn't want to be any one's Valentine, she doesn't want
to have a boyfriend and it felt "too grown up".
Cirwen was so upset by this, that in the end Daddy had
to confess to the whole idea. We explained that, it was
only to make her smile and to tell her that Daddy loves his
daughter.

So here we are. A seemingly innocent gesture turned into
a disaster. Cirwen often expresses her fear of growing up.
With this comes also a fear of the fact, that peers will
expect her to have a relationship. An idea of a boyfriend,
to her, means a lot of uncomfortable things: physical contact,
closeness, a threat to her personal space... Well, she is only
11 and I'm happy she is not looking for boyfriends, however
I really did not expect such a strong reaction...

Thankfully, she accepted the flowers, but the card went into the bin.

On a happier note

Not all lately is such in such a bad state.
There are good news..

Good news No.1
The Academy's Winter showcase was such a success,
that the governors fished out more funding for the
Spring showcase. This will be staged in the school's new
theatre, so the excitement is even higher! (this year
we expect the completion of the new school building).
Cirwen will again take part in the production of the
drama club.

Good news No.2
Cirwen's Learning Mentor has informed me, that she
has nominated my daughter for the Best Achiever Award.
This award is given between 13 of existing in UK Oasis
Academies. My heart grew, when the teacher said, that
she wants Cirwen to be nominated, because she has
improved academically, socially and emotionally in such
a short time despite her Autistic nature and despite the
bullying.

Whether she will be awarded that is another question,
and time will show. I however, am happy and proud
that she at least made it to the nomination.

International Conference

On 26th of March 2010, The International Autism Conference
will take place in Malta.

It's focus will be "New thinking in Autism". It will be attended
by professionals and charity activists, who will be able to discuss
the new policies and ideas of fighting for the well being of people
with Autism around the world.

Read more on:
http://www.autismmalta.org/#

Some trouble, some frustration

Here we go.

School started only 3 weeks ago with a few days off
because British can't work when it's snowing.

(but snow is not the subject here, nor the inability to
cope in winter)

We got two bullies down, two to go.

The school is very cooperative, although it takes time.
Cirwen has toughened up. She manages to ignore the
teasing comments every day, now.

The last two days I spend on the phone to school trying to
speak to someone. Due to Ofsted visit I managed to talk to
Cirwen's Learning Mentor yesterday. There I found, that
one of the girls has been expelled for bullying not only my
daughter.

Another hopelessly long process is filing for re-assessment
of Cirwen's needs. The SEN-co, is talking to relevant LEA
(Local Education Authority), who has to approve this motion.
Even the teacher sounded slightly frustrated, that after 3 months,
she still has no approval. There are two more children
on the autistic spectrum in need of that...

Well, as much as I felt disappointed for the lack of details, or action,
I could not blame the teacher. The system is as frustratingly
soulless to the professionals as to us parents.

sooo we're waiting, waiting, waiting... hoping...

Autistic gift

It is said that autistic people are either expert or savants
in one particular field. Savant is a rare phenomenon, although
seen in low functioning autistic people as well as those more
able.

I think the reason for that is because autistic children and
adults are obsessive, therefore they gain as much information
as possible on a chosen subject. In other cases, they are simply
talented.

I think I have discovered Cirwen's love for words. This is
a piece of her recent homework, where she was supposed to write
what she thinks will happen next in a book the class is currently
reading.

I am quite impressed with the style of this little piece. Tell me what
you think, but don't forget she's 11, and I don't think she's a genius :-)
I think there is a potential...


Continuing the story called Jake's Tower...

Last time when Jake went to the zoo with his mum and Steve, a little cheeky
monkey peed on Steve. Jake laughed so much that Steve got angry... and then
had beaten up poor young Jake... So he ran away with his mum....

Now Jake and his mum were rushing to the bus.
“Hello Marie” said a voice. Mum remained in silence completely ignoring
the fact that an old enemy was on the bus too.
Mum turned round in shock “What are you doing here!?”mum cried,
“Tut tut Marie you know who I am. Y’now it’s me Chelsea, don’t you
remember?” Chelsea snorted. She took one look at Jake’s beaten face.
“well well well who is this ugly brute?” asked Chelsea. “Leave us alone! “
said mum.

Once they got off the bus mum whispered “I hope your grandma Mrs.
Judd actually lets us in the warmth! She has to! She owes us big time
for getting your dad Danny against me! Jake knocked on the door “hello?”
said Jake worryingly. The door opened with a horrible sound like
a person screaming in the doorway. “C’mon Jake lets go. Don’t be afraid!”
whispered mum comfortingly. The two of them stepped into the house.
“BANG! CRASH! BOOM!” a voice cried. Mum gasped in shock. “Mrs Judd?
Were are you!?” mum called out. Then a fat big old lady came from
the distance. “WHAT DO YOU WANT!?” cried Mrs. Judd. “we wanted to
get some shelter” Jake whimpered. Mrs. Judd snorted.”All right come in then”
Jake was so happy he even hugged Mrs Judd. They all sat down and
had some tea.
By Cirwen!

New Year - New Hope

Happy New Year my dear friends and future friends.
I haven't been here for a long time. Too long...

Cirwen's emotional problems, bullying, pre-Christmas
run-around and a strain of flu from one family member
to another took their toll. I was too tired to read or write.
If I was a hypochondriac I would have thought I was
narcoleptic :-)

However, I am pleased the year 2009 finished on a good
note.

After an violent incident on the way from school, when
Cirwen was attacked and kicked by another girl, things
have been dealt with swiftly. A parent of another child
saw what happened and called the school. 15 minutes
after my daughter came back home, I received a phone call
from the Head of the Year 7 asking about Cirwen's well
being and for her to submit the statement to him first
thing in the morning. Apparently the girl was already
a major concern at the Academy.

Cirwen, as frightened and upset she was, went to school
the next day and made the statement. Obviously she
was advised to stay away from the girl as much as possible.
Since then, apart from an odd teasing remarks, nothing
as horrible happened.

My beautiful girl took part in the Academy Winter Showcase
taking major part in their Christmas performance. She glowed,
her voice rang when she recited the poem, her movement was
flawless. Both her dad and me were proud as proud could be!
we spoke to the drama teacher who told us that Cirwen is now
the "resident member" of the drama club and she's not allowed
to leave until she leaves the Academy.

Not that Cirwen would like to anyway. I have found that drama,
which she really enjoys, helps her understand the emotions and
feelings, or how to deal with some situations. She began to deal with
teasing in a much calmer manner. The howling and running out
of the classroom has stopped, and she started to enjoy going to
school again. I think it might have helped that she made many
good friends with older pupils at the drama club as well.

Well, that's the best news so far. It doesn't mean the fight is over.
It means we can do this. It means provided the right support from
school and members of the community, we can stop bullying.
She/he probably will never read this, but I would like to say a deep,
heartfelt THANK YOU, to the mum or dad I don't even know,
who called and reported the incident at the bus stop that day.
People like you make a Difference. Thank you.